What My Father Taught Me – A Diversity and Inclusion Trainer’s Father
By Mauricio Velásquez, MBA
President, CEO – The Diversity Training Group
Antonio Velásquez, my immigrant father, who came to this
country (legally, you have to say that these days) with nothing, not knowing
the language, serving this great country in the military and then eventually with
the GI bill graduating from college (at age 32) recently passed away. My father lived to see me go to college and
graduate school and earn a BA and MBA from two great schools and watched me
marry a fabulous woman and have three wonderful children together and start my
own firm – The Diversity Training Group.
DTG has thrived for nearly 15 years.
As many of you know – when someone close to you passes away
you become very introspective. How did
this person “touch me” and my life? I
have always been asked – “Why did you become a diversity trainer?” Well, I have reflected on these questions for
some time now and here is what I came up with - what my father taught me. I wish I had had this conversation with him
before he died. My father was a Diversity
and Inclusion Master – he just did not know it.
Ø
Work Hard
– get the college degree, get the master’s degree, get all the experience you
can – “No one can take your education and
experience away from you and you will set yourself apart from your competition.” No one worked harder than my dad. Work harder than everyone else and your
difference(s) will not matter. My father
displayed that boundless immigrant work ethic every day of his life.
Ø
See
People As Human Beings - be kind, be thoughtful, treat all people
with respect and dignity and they will treat you in turn the same way (hopefully). My father would say – “Don’t give people more reason to dislike you than they already have,
just because you are different, keep your head high, exude a friendly confidence
and be respectful to others.”
Ø
Think of
Those “Less Fortunate” – “Never look
to those that have more and be envious, always remember those who are less
fortunate and count your blessings,” my father would say. A marvelous coping technique I might add. I thank God every day.
Ø
Always Be
Informed – make decisions after you have all of the facts, after you
understand all sides, all perspectives.
My father was a problem-solver and so am I. I often ask myself – “What do I still not
know, what information, what perspective am I missing?” But make the decision, my father was no fan
of indecision.
Ø
Every
Problem Has a Root Cause(s) and Solution(s) – “Just stop, take a deep breath, and study the problem” – my father
would say. Come at it from a place of reason and
rational thought and not emotion and knee jerk reaction (more on this
later).
Ø
Learn
From Your Mistakes – “What did you
learn from this experience, what lesson did you take away?” Yes,
make decisions, don’t be indecisive but also reflect on your decisions, which
were good, which were not so good and what did you learn. You will not learn anything if you did not
ask – what did we learn in this situation?
Ø
Trust
People – “Reach out, find mentors,
build quality relationships and these relationships will always serve you well”
– my father would say. My father taught
me that you invest in relationships, in people, they will pay a dividend. Don’t be afraid to seek out help, seek out
mentors – especially people different from you – that have those different
perspectives, who have walked a different path.
All of my work is built around trust.
The coaching, harassment prevention, diversity, and favoritism – DTG is
doing workshop just around Trust.
Ø
Do What
Others Avoid – my father ate conflict for breakfast. He loved solving problems. “Do
what others do not want to do and you will be very successful” – he would
tell me this all of the time. Maybe why
I love what I do – because others avoid issues of conflict, diversity, bias,
prejudice, and hate. My field is a
growth industry. Thanks to my father I
found my passion, my vocation (not really work for me) and I love every minute
of it. I am truly fortunate. I see so many people unhappy in my travels
and I wonder why am I so fortunate? I
have my father (and mother) to thank for that.
Ø
Respond
Don’t React – so often there is so much emotion, rage, frustration involved
in decision making and relationships. My
father taught me to “be cool, stay cool
and respond from a place of reason and common sense and not from a place of
emotion.” In workshops every day hecklers (real jerks, toxic) come at me,
but if I stay calm, cool, collected, and smile I am always good to go! Responding is the key; not responding sends a
very different message. We teach how to
engage, how to respond, how to coach – so important.
Ø
Listen – my
father was a good listener. “There is a difference between hearing
someone and actually listening to them” – my father would point out. Kelly, my wife always comments – “Total
strangers tell you their whole life story!”
Why – no secret, I listen actively and the person knows I truly
care. Be authentic, sincere, genuine,
care – my father taught me you can’t fake that.
Active listening is a lost art form.
Well, there you have it – why I became a Diversity and
Inclusion Trainer, Consultant, Author and Coach. My father’s legacy – blame my dad. Thank you for taking the time to read this
article.
Brought to you by:
Diversity Training
Group
692 Pine Street,
Herndon, Virginia 20170
www.diversitydtg.com
Mauricio Velásquez, MBA – President, CEO
mauriciov@diversitydtg.com